He thinks of his first engagement in Brazzaville, in the Congo. There, he was captured by a sadistic band of Zulu fighters. These rough young fighters, child soldiers really, were very drunk and high. They stripped me down, and presented me to their leader, an oversexed brute with a massive piece between his legs. At this moment, a special American force came to my rescue! Their leader would soon rrepatriate me with my.legion, but not before giving me a thorough exam, and in the process, falling for my unique beauty, which was apparent even at this early age. We stayed in tiuch after the war, he writing steamy letters to me, and sending explicit pics of himself, saying he could never get me out of his head.
I sit back here, with my gun and bullets next to me. I could end it all, right here and now. My steamy good looks advanced me far and fast in the Legion. Instead of the senior men having mistresses, which in France is very common, many took on me as their other lover. They showered me with affection and knickknacks. They competed with each other to see who would.be the lucky one to take me out on the town, and be seen with the most dashing young legionnaire. But I never found exclusive, true love with any of these. Still, I am alone, with only my trusty gun and bullets for companions. My washboard abs, and beauty, have turned into a curse.
Actually, I did finally find the real thing, true love. But in turned into my undoing in a spectacular fall from grace. He was a high-ranking Scotland Yard detective, dark, classically handsome for a Brit, and easygoing. We fell hard for each other while the Legion and the Yard were doing a joint and sensitive investigation. He would text me, cryptically of course, that since meeting me, he could only do his wife from behind, thinking of me the entire time. Well, he wound up leaving her to be exclusively mine. A true first for me, which solidified my love and adoration for him. One night while on border patrol, he phoned. I needed to hear his voice so bad, that even though I needed to be giving all my attention to the border crossing, I answered and we chatted. He told me again that he can't get me out of his head. I told him that's why the Kylie Minogue song of the same name always makes me think of him. Anyway, in the distraction, a dangerous individual snuck into the country, later to wreak havoc on our people. Since I was such a beloved figure at the Legion, this was all covered up at the highest levels. But I never forgave myself. And from his contacts, my love found out the truth, and also couldn't forgive himself. He said he was only staying alive to look after me in my depressed state. All this drama. Like a soap opera. Don't you hate drama? Everything is so serious now these days. Anyway, he is coming down, and I have decided we will end it together -- thus all these bullets here in case of jams. I won't look so pretty with my brains blown out, thus snuffing out my last redeeming quality. Before we go out, I will drop in the mail documents for Le Monde, detailing the entire shameful episode. I hate to get my superiors in trouble, but they should not have held the truth back from the French people. Just to spare their golden boy.